Issues With Keepsake

This is a little embarrassing since I've been talking Keepsake no stop for the last few weeks, but this wouldn't be much of a gratuitously-praising-myself-self-indulgent-tech-support site if I didn't provide actual tech support. So here goes.

A lot of you have probably gotten this message or one like it

Attention,
At this time you have not put a secret in the safe box. Please consider doing so before the time is past.-Keepsakeadmin#1 

Let me explain. In Keepsake, you can display a lot of information about yourself, if you want to. However, there's also this feature that lets you put things on your "private" dossier. Basically kind of like a LiveJournal or xanga. (If you don't know what either or those are than you are banned from this website until you can learn what those are. You heard me. Go!) Anyway, one of the features of this private section is the safe box.

The safe box is where you can put your deepest, darkest secret online. It was supposed to be, I don't know, fun? I thought it would be funny. Unfortunately, then there's Keepsakeadmin#1.

Keepsakeadmin#1 is not me. It is this other account I created to automatically manage some of the systems in Keepsake. This may sound lazy, but this is basically so I didn't have to send ten thousand "someone has commented on your dossier" e-mails. (By the way, you can turn that feature off. But if you're away from Keepsake for more than three months without deleting the account it will send you e-mails every day. Just a little thing I thought was funny.) It is a completely automatic program.

Now the problem that this is causing (other than being creepy as hell) is that its kind of badgering people into doing things. That's not what I wanted Keepsake to be at all. So I think I've solved the problem with a long and boring bit of basic, but just in case you're still getting this, here's what you do.

Go to "Options" go to "Futz with the Whoosit" and then go to "My Personal Special Account Settings." (I'm regretting giving these things humorous names all ready.) There should be a place where it says, "Badger Me With E-mails About Whatever." Turn it from "On" to  "Off." If that doesn't work e-mail me.

I repeat e-mail ME at sexyjedininja@gmail.com and not the Keepsakeadmin#1. It is a robot. It does not feel your pain.

Ground Rules

Now it's time for another Keepsake post.

I know, super douchey if I'm not letting you in, but I wanted to post the ground rules somewhere offsite. Basically, these are a few rules to make our community healthier, happier, and safer.

Keepsake Golden Rules

1. Be Safe in Sharing
2. Your Profile is "You"
3. No One is Ever Wrong
4. Report Hackers, Imposters, Poseurs
5. Be Sincere in Insincerity
6. Post or Be Gone
7. No Gray People Pictures!

Explanation

1. This is just common sense, but I include it anyway. Remember when you put anything on the internet that there is a possibility that a picture of you in a bunny costume will get drudged up during your future political run. I am making security as tight as I can, but nothing on the internet is ever really safe or really gone.

2. Feel free to mess with your identity on your profile. It doesn't have to be the you as everyone knows. It you want to be a kangaroo farmer from Australia, roll with it. But before you do refer to rule #5.

3. Obviously this is a false statement. The person who said the Titanic was unsinkable was wrong. However, when it comes to opinions and identities no one is ever wrong. This is just my way of saying respect each other. Also, don't be a dick. Just saying'.

4. This may seem counterintuitive given the previous rules, but I don't want anyone on this website that isn't here to have fun and experiment with the internet. If I find out you're trying to sell something or you have otherwise erstwhile intentions I will block you so fast you won't know what hit you.

5. Again, counterintuitive. If you want to be a kangaroo farmer from Australia, that's fine, but I want you to really commit to that identity. What you're really doing is making up a character. Be fair to that character. Make them complex, interesting. Also, try to pick one identity to commit to for a long period of time. I will allow you time at the beginning to figure out what you're doing, but you need to find yourself.

6. If you disappear for months at a time, I will delete you. I want active members in this community. Obviously if you're going to Africa/going through a divorce/etc. I will understand. I will still delete you, but I will let you back later. If you do get deleted, don't feel bad. This is by and large an experiment and you are part of it.

7. The first picture you will get in your home page will be of a gray silhouette of a person either man or woman depending on your gender. You have five minutes to get rid of that picture. After then, your account will be automatically deleted.

To Sum It All Up

Ultimately, what I hope you remember is that the reason these rules are so harsh, random, dictatorish, is because of tough love. I want you all to create something sensational. So get out there and make me proud kids.

I'm counting on you.

Keepsake

So my super secret project has been up and running for about a week and a half now. It was looking a little shaky there at the end (could not figure out what went wrong for the life of me). Since nothing has collapsed or broken I feel like it's finally safe to talk about it.

I started my own social networking site called Keepsake. It's a little like a more intimate, more humorous version of Facebook. In my own mind, I created it to be the anti-Facebook. Here's why.

1. Limited People- At any one time there can only be a certain number of people subscribed to the site. I'm not letting you know what that number is, but trust me when I say it's small. This is about creating a small community of people who want to share something online.

2. Limited Connections- In order to become "Buddies" with someone, you have to answer a list of questions about them correctly first. This list of questions is created by the other person. That way no one can become "buddies" with you that doesn't really know you. There are also levels of buddies depending on how many questions you get right. It ranges from "amicable acquaintances" to "hella tight." There's also an "enemy" rating, but it's harder to get that.

3. Unknown Domain Name- I'm only telling a handful of people where the domain is. You're not going to find it if you search Google (believe me, I've spent hours making sure of that). That means that the only way to get on it is to talk to me.

4. No Games/No Applications/No Advertising/All Talking- You can create discussion boards and you engage in conversations, but that's it. This is all about communicating, baby.

5. It Keeps Your Secrets- You always have a "Keepsake Box" where you can list your deepest darkest secrets and no one will ever be able to see it but you and the website. (Not even me.)

I know it's kind of douchey to talk about a project and then say that other people can't join, but that's exactly what I just did. If you really want to be part of this, e-mail me and, in 500 words or less, tell me what you have to bring to the community.

I know it's harsh, baby, but that's just how I roll. Keepsake is about exposing a part of yourself you never would otherwise. Keepsake is about who were on the internet and how it effects who we are in life.

The motto of Keepsake is "Don't Lose Yourself."

That's what we're about and that's how we'll remain. Because what Keepsake is really about is that part of ourselves we never let anyone else see.

Wonderful Fantastic Project

I'm still not ready to tell you about my wonderful fantastic project. That's right, the title just lied to you. Partly because I like building suspense and partly because it's not quite ready yet. We've been having some weird technical problems that I don't want to get into, but I promise it's coming soon.

What I am going to do is take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about myself.

(I will never put a picture of myself online, for all intensive purposes this is what I look like)

First let's get the basic information out of the way. My boss always calls it job-interview-information because it's the kind of essential details you always need on a resume but really tell you nothing about a person's life.

My name is Jordan Morrison. I am 25 years old and I live in Iowa City. I grew up in a tiny northern Iowan town called Maple Lake and I graduated three years ago from the University of Iowa with a B.A. in Computer Science. After school, I decided to stay in Iowa City. Right now I work at Jackboot Turntables, a store that sells records, 8-tracks and other old technology. If you're really interested in that kind of stuff, that blog is here.

That all information that allows you to box my life into a general shape without actually telling you anything about me. Sometimes I think that's what the internet reduces us to, a string of numbers and locations. My name, my age, my location, and my job are not me. That's sort of what my project is about, but I'll get to that later.

Some people think I stayed in Iowa City because it was easier or because I'm lazy or stupid or something like that. That's not true. Well, I am lazy, but the rest of it isn't true.

My grandfather, who moved in with my parents when I was fourteen, had Alzheimer's and needed a lot of attention. His health deteriorated while I was in college and he actually died my senior year. It put a lot of strain on my parents. Not just because he had Alzheimer's, but because his relationship with my dad was complicated, even when he was healthy.

They're doing better now, but I was just happy to get away from for a few years. I go home every now and then, but me and my parents don't always get along. They kind of wanted me to be an engineer and that didn't happen for a number of reasons. The main one being I didn't want to be an engineer.

Right now, I'm just happy to have a place to call my own. Iowa City is the first place that has felt like home to me in a long time. I know this makes me sound like an emo 13-year-old on Myspace (does anyone still use that?), but it's true. Maple Lake is an incredibly small town and for whatever reason I just didn't fit in when I was growing up.

I worked for Jackboot during my senior and when Tim offered me a full-time job I took it up on it. My favorite two places in the world are currently Sanctuary, a bar/restaurant in Iowa City, and this pub in Scotland called Roger's Spot. I've entertained thoughts of living there someday, at least for a little while, but I'm really happy here right now.

I love my job and the people I work with, but I know this is something I'm not going to want to do forever. When I figure out what that is, I'll go for it. People sometimes tell me I need to get my life in gear or say that I'm wasting my potential at Jackboot. To them I have only two things to say. 1. Suck it and 2. Bite me.

But the routine does get to me sometimes, which is why I started doing this wonderful fantastic project. And I can't wait to tell you all what it is.

Welcome to Me

In the words of the immortal Dr. Nick from Simpsons, Hi Everybody!

You may know me as Jordan Morrison, manager of Jackboot Turntables a very awesome store. However at night, I am Jordan Morrison, ex-college student with a degree in computer science I am not using at all.

It's not very interesting, I'll grant you that.

But I'm going to start keeping a blog just in case A. one day I decide to pursue another career option and I want people to find me online and B. I have a project coming up.

It's a fabulous, fantastic project and I don't want to tell you anything about it yet. For now, I'm just going to leave you with this.

Don't Lose Yourself . . .